“Maybe I have feelings that aren’t mine to have.” The thought stole ever so quietly in while I cleaned my oven door and knobs. I had tried to keep my thoughts to myself for a while but finally just spoke them as if giving voice to them would somehow validate them. But hearing only a “yeah” given in response, I knew I should’ve held my tongue.

Earlier that day I had been out walking with our dog. Normally she did a pretty good job of staying near me. She’d run a bit on ahead but would come back when I called. Lately though she had been taking a few more liberties.

This day in particular our neighbor drilled wheat on the other side of the hedgerow and it was more than she could take. At first she just peered through every break in the trees. Then, without warning, off she ran. It didn’t matter in the least that she heard me calling her name. She just had to see what was going on and possibly be a part of the action.

Abruptly I turned and went the other way—a new tactic I had of getting her to come back when she wasn’t listening. Back she ran, only to again peer through the trees. Next chance she had, she tore away again. I could hear her barks and as I did, I thought, “India, why are you barking? That man is on his property, minding his business, and yet you must go see what he’s doing and even bark at him as if he’s the intruder.”

And just that fast I wondered how often I do the same. In my thoughts I wander into other people’s lives and hearts wondering why they do what they do, say what they say, and think what they think. I peer through hedgerows to see what they’re doing, go around hedgerows to stick my nose in their business, and then bark to tell the whole world, “Come see!” and “Did you hear?”

And in all of this, I can have feelings that are not mine to have. I can judge things that are not mine to judge. I can speak words that were never mine to speak. A verse in the Bible addresses this. 1 Timothy 6:4 says, “He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmisings.” 

I don’t want to do this. Yet my oh so human heart and mind feel such a need at times. I am so in need of God. Oh that I can stay on my side of the hedgerow where I belong, for the only time I have a place on the other side is when I’m there lending a hand and helping my fellow traveler along.